An-Ya and Her Diary by Diane René Christian

Maybe I felt all of these things and so much more. Maybe I was angry that it didn’t matter what I thought because other people decided for me. Maybe I was sad that I would be lost to Them forever.

Maybe I was happy to know that someone wanted me. They came to take me away from China forever. Instead of Them, strangers, who look nothing like me, came from the other side of the world. But nobody wanted me there, not even Them. I never stopped hoping for Them to return for me. I kept growing and growing, and every day I was less special than the day before. We watched baby after baby find their home before us. Or maybe She was sick, or maybe She died, and He would come. If a stranger entered the orphanage, I was sure it was Her. You and I have been together all of my life. She made a terrible decision leaving you empty, because it left me empty too. These are my secrets to share and not yours to keep inside these blank pages. Why can’t you answer me? I don’t like that about you. As we lay beneath the red gate, did we stare into the sun or stars? Did I cry? Did She cry? Did She write it? What did She look like as She stood over you with Her pen? Were there tears in Her eyes? Why were you left empty inside?Į. As you know, my name is printed on your first page. You are the book, and I am the name…An-Ya. I don’t know if it is possible for my world to ever feel whole, without a crack down the middle…but it is time to try.Īll that She left inside the box was a blank book and a name. Right now those worlds seem so far apart. I will write it all down with hopes that somehow I can connect the two worlds that I have lived in. I want to write about our old life and I want to write about our life now. Our story began in China and now it continues in America. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

An-Ya and Her Diary by Diane René Christian